A grass roots effort to help the elderly receiving poor care in long term facilities. Through education, support and advocacy we will be their voice and hope.
BILL'S WISH FOR ALL ELDERLY
Paula had a very special bond with her Uncle Bill. He had cognitive disabilities and seizures from a brain injury due to a car hitting him when he was a child. He was like a big kid. Paula always looked out for him. She admired that despite his disabilities, he was a Boy Scout Leader for over 25 years, he was a janitor and loyal member of his family church for most of his life. He did some amazing things. He taught Paula to always help others. Louetta (Bill's sister, and Paula’s mother) asked Paula if she would help her take care of her uncle. Paula was delighted to have an opportunity to help care for her uncle! After Bill had spent 20 years in California, Louetta and Paula brought him to live in Ohio so they could be able to care for him. The first couple of years were fun times between the three. They never imagined what great struggles and challenges they would face ahead in trying to do the best they could for Bill. The promise Paula made to her uncle became impossible to keep in a healthcare system that worked against them both. With all the struggles he and others had in long term care his last days were filled with a wish. A couple of weeks before he passed he had one wish he told his niece, Rochelle, who is a nurse. His wish was " please, always be kind to to all your patients."
Uncle Bill 1st row, 2nd from left camping trip to New Mexico --And again at 79 years old enjoying one of his favorite snacks!
UNACCEPTABLE CARE
At the time, Paula and Louetta had no idea about long term care. They placed him in long term care because they could not give him the care he needed at home. They thought he would get the care he needed and could supplement what the nursing homes didn’t do. However, they learned quickly how undervalued and mistreated our elderly are in facilities. Paula and Louetta went from one nursing home to another thinking the care would be better than the last one. It never got better. The nursing homes were understaffed and the elderly suffered for it. The Residents could not get help when they pushed the call light, they couldn’t get help in using the restroom, they couldn’t even get water in a timely manner! This list went on and on. It was obvious that something more was going on than the elderly just falling out of beds. They did fall, but it was due to lack of help most of the time. Also, the struggle they had in being given only $50 a month for clothes, personal items and haircuts that took up a decent amount of their money. It was devastating to see her uncle and all the others struggle just trying to make it through each day without the help they needed. Paula and Louetta made sure Bill had whatever he needed, but so many had no families and had no help. Paula and Louetta would try to help others when they could. Even, Louetta who was 75, would buy blankets for others when she went to see her brother. One older person helping another is a fantastic sight to see! Bill would speak up to the aides when Residents needed help or were mistreated when no one was around. He spoke up for others more than he did for himself.
NO VOICE
It was obvious the elderly had no voice when they complained and would never be heard. The facility and the healthcare providers seem to just take over your loved one. Communication was poor with the families about current care or changes in care. It seemed the only time they included family was in a life or death situation or a periodic care plan assessment that had to signed by the POA. If the Resident complained, the aides would become hostile towards them for doing so. If the families spoke up or complained, they were considered over reactive and naive to the care being provided for their loved ones. The nursing home was always right, and the elderly had no voice of their own anymore.
THE PROMISE
Bill's passing was horrific. Paula asked the hospital not to put a BIPAP on Bill's face: he didn’t want it. It was his right to refuse a treatment. Not only did they put the BIPAP on his face, but when he tried to take it off, they restrained him so he couldn’t use his arms. They never called Paula and informed her restraint was used or even necessary. If they had, she would have went to advocate for her uncle within minutes. In the end, Bill lost his ability to speak sentences for the first time in his life. He yelled Paula's name for hours and hours and kept grabbing her arm! Paula knew what he wanted to say but couldn’t. She told him that she knew what they did to him and she would do something about it. Paula never got to say goodbye to someone she was extremely close to all her life and loved dearly. Bill did not die in a peaceful way. It haunts Paula to this day that with lack of communication from the facility, she feels like she failed him in looking out for him. Bill counted on Paula and she had never felt so hopeless.
Paula promised her uncle on his deathbed, that she would not give up and she would fight to change the poor care of the elderly.
Straps to be engaged when Bill tried to pull BIPAP off face
KEEPING THE PROMISE
Paula kept her promise to do something. She started a page on Facebook called Elderly Advocates. It sparked a lot of conversations and interest. She found so many people that had horrible experiences with their loved one in long-term care facilities as she did. Paula found out that this has been going on for at least a decade and nothing was being done to make any changes! It seems that many know about the poor standard of care we have for the elderly, but no one knows what to do about it. Paula, and a few others decided to start a non profit. The group now meets every two weeks for a few hours lying out the foundation to make Elderly Advocates an official charitable 501(c)3 organization. Patty is one of Elderly Advocates' co-founders. Patty's father had just passed a few months ago. Her father was in a nursing home with her mother. Patty said the nursing home only made caring for her father 3 times harder! Patty now lives with the same guilt and regret that Paula does and has the passion to improve the overall quality of life for the elderly as well. Paula and Patty do not want anyone’s family go through what they did. Jennifer, the other co founder, worked in a nursing home for five years as an aid, she understands many of the challenges of the families, healthcare professionals, and nursing homes.
Pictured in photo above from Left to Right: Co-Founders of Elderly Advocates: Jennifer, Paula, and Patty.
EDUCATE AND EMPOWER
Through education, support and advocacy Elderly Advocates is determined to improve the quality of life for the elderly. It seems that the ones in long-term care facilities are often the forgotten ones. Many of them are still mentally functioning well . Some are more functional than others; however, all them have feelings and should be treated like the precious gems they are. They deserve so much better than this. We cannot tolerate unacceptable care anymore. This affects EVERYONE. Not only does it affect the elderly, but their families and caretakers who are trying to do the best for their loved ones. It affects EVERY generation! The time for change is NOW! It is projected that by the year 2050, the elderly population will outweigh the younger population. If the standard of care is poor right now, and we don't fight for positive change, we may face these challenges and more without a voice.
JOIN US IN THE EFFORT TO HELP THE ELDERLY
We at Elderly Advocates are asking for your support with seed money to help us in the effort to make this non profit into a charitable status 501(c)3. This important status will open many doors for funding to give Elderly Advocates the ability to begin serving the public. Your donation to this effort will not be a charitable contribution and is not tax deductible. While we can't make any guarantees of where this effort will lead us, we can promise is that we are giving it our best shot in bringing this effort to life and to be able to help the elderly and their families. We have put many hours into this and some of our funds to get to this point.
We hope you will see how important the issues are in the poor quality of care for the elderly and consider giving to a great cause.We need your support to educate, create awareness of these issues and help the elderly struggling. One of us can't change things, many of us can. can. Make this your promise to care about them!
